Cockshit

Currently listening to Elliott Smith's "Say Yes". He stabbed himself to death. It can be concluded he was one hell of an artist.

When people ask me what my greatest fear is, I usually have multiple responses ready. Spiders. Death. Growing up. Disappointment. I lie everytime. You wouldn't expect it from me, but I'm a fucking great liar.

That's my greatest fear. Being lonely. Not in the sense that I have nobody around me (I cherish every moment I have alone), but in the sense that I've been living an untruth my entire life and I realize on my deathbed that no one ever knew the real Eleanor Rigby. But how much can we expect others to see us as we are when even we ourselves can't remove that mask? It's the vulnerability, the fear that others won't like what they see, we won't like what we see once the mask comes off. No more walls, no more barriers, it never comes back on. Fuck.

Life is a bitch.

Tactfully,
T.J.